Burdens from guilt or doubt weigh you down, and can drag you places unnecessarily. Whether the burden came from a known source, or a hidden one, it is possible to rid them by changing your focus.
My dad passed two years ago, yet it was only recently I learned how my father carried pain and doubt unnecessarily. In a conversation with my mom, she spoke of how her and dad raised me to be independent, then second-guessed themselves after my diagnosis of Retinitis Pigmentosa (an incurable, hereditary, progressive eye disease). In their mind, their hard work was in vain.
Taunting thoughts like “Maybe we should have spoiled her more,” crept in every now and then, creating a cloud of doubt and guilt, which hung over their heads continuously.
Caught off guard, and saddened, by this revelation, I was thankful I learned of it so I could eradicate this doubt by changing mom’s focus to the truth. Evidence of their feelings were never apparent to me.
Here’s what I shared with her (wish dad’s earthly ears would’ve heard also).
1. Love and support from my parents enable me to tackle anything…including losing my sight. Their emotional support and advice gave me confidence and security that carried over when looking for a mate. It was important that a man believe in me the same way my parents did. My husband gives me dignity and respect , allowing for my independence. His support lets me continue to soar in ways I would’ve never imagined otherwise…all because they instilled principles of being and thinking independently.
2. Dad, in particular, taught me to ask questions. “That’s how you learn,” he explained.
No matter how nervous it made me, I put this into practice. This skill has improved my mobility, allowed me to research new businesses we started, and be an advocate for the senior population in our church.
3. Encouraged to participate in extracurricular school and church activities taught me to work as a team member. It provided opportunity to develop leadership skills, starting in high school with band, pep band, honor society, Girls’ State, and a service organization called, “Kayettes.” These activities also gave me exposure to a world much larger than myself and entertainment only. I was even elected as State Pres. of Christian Youth Fellowship.
In college, my eye disease slowed me down somewhat, but I still was chosen for Spurs (service organization for sophomores). I even ventured out to create a new organization called, “Bodybuilders.” Its purpose was to unite all Christian campus groups, and held the first Christian concert on the campus of Emporia State University.
Looking back, I realize how necessary these skills were when Steve and I founded Word in Action Ministries, both mom and dad have been as proud as punch of this ministry that rebuilds lives by feeding and more.
4. While dad worried about anything and everything, he never fretted out loud as to my future…leading me to believe I could do anything and everything. Because they were Christian examples, I learned with God, I could do anything.
If my parents burden of guilt lay invisible, how many things are others fretting over now that changing their focus could help. You see, you might be looking at the problem from a cracked foundation, or through a plastic window. Someone, like me, might not be there to show you the other side, but I can guarantee you there is one.
Set yourself free today from your burdens. Know your perceived mistake might have helped shape someone in ways you know not of. If necessary, ask forgiveness, and set blame free as well.
Let’s Talk. Do you see how what we believe might be bad can turn into good? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below. Please pass this on to a friend who might need a burden lifted by changing their focus.
Thanks for taking time to stop in, and for your patience during my time of multiple life changes. Love and blessings to you
© 2017, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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