Frustrations flew when my computer froze right after I heard my husband drive off. Since I couldn’t fix it without his help, I moved to the kitchen to calm myself with a glass of tea, only to discover an empty pitcher in the refrigerator. Deciding to make more, I grabbed for a tea bag and some sugar knocking over an open package of marshmallows.
“What? Someone moved my broom,” I screamed in exasperation!
That, my friends, is a five-minute glance into my world of little to no vision, except more goes wrong usually, and is much more irritating. This frustration can quickly turn into anger if I don’t turn my frown around. I remember my dad always telling me to put myself in other’s shoes. Maybe my family had been tired, in a hurry, or had a distraction or problem themselves. Whatever the cause, they weren’t out to deliberately make my life harder for me. Besides, they make many sacrifices and challenges to live with a blind person.
Putting myself in their shoes evaporated my frustrations and catapulted me to look for good. Naturally, I’m still working on this since it’s impossible to go from realization to perfection overnight. Regardless, the fact remains: putting yourself in other’s shoes definitely can lead to looking for good as well.
As a new step-parent of two teens over a decade ago, the opportunity presented itself to apply this principle. Daily frustrations percolated to my boiling point during attempts to blend our lives. I prayed night after night asking God to change my kids.
You know what He said? “You change.”
God gave me a wonderful idea. One I’ve shared ever since. Every day while they were gone to school, I began looking for good. Yes, I thought long and hard to think of ANYTHING they did that was good. Whatever my discovery, I wrote it on a piece of paper I laid on their pillows for them to find as soon as they arrived. It might say:
- “You did a good job of remembering your homework today.”
- “I liked the way your hair looked today.”
- “I appreciated your manners at dinner last night.”
- “You have a pretty smile.”
And, the compliments went on, changing their attitudes immediately. School woes quickly dissipated into thin air instead of turning into unleashed anger.
God taught me a lesson through this experience. Looking for good washed away all negative emotions turning my frown around. It also had the power to change others. In the ministry, this became a foundational principle to live by. It is the protective armor when under attack, thus preventing bitterness. Looking for good also builds one another up. Every time I reinforce someone by complimenting how good they do something, they gain more confidence to do it again and again.
Turn your frown around by putting yourself in other’s shoes, and by looking for good. If you want to make a difference changing lives, look for good in others and tell them. I guarantee it will change yours!
CHALLENGE
Look for good in everyone you have contact with today. Share in the comments what you learned.
Feel free to try this even longer.
© 2020, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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