“I never dreamed I’d be playing my flute every week at church in my sixties!”
Next to a harp, the sound of a flute always made me think of heaven. Lessons began in fourth grade, and I loved playing it, but when the band director offered to teach me French Horn my Junior year, I accepted.
In college, I didn’t join band. My flute hid in its case in my childhood bedroom closet. Receiving a diagnosis of a progressive eye disease led me to believe it may remain silent there – forever.
First Roadblock – Memory Loss
In my late 20’s, I attended a church with a praise and worship band. Seeing the guitars and drums rekindled a desire to play my flute. Twelve years had passed, though, since I had taken it out of its dusty case.
Single and working four days on and four off at a boys group home, I felt I might have time to fiddle with it again.
I removed it from the dark closet and took it to my apartment where on my days off from work, I could give it a try. I opened the case, pulled out its three pieces and slid them together, but couldn’t remember exactly how to line them up.
That wasn’t all.
I forgot the fingerings for each note, the names of the majority of notes themselves, and how many sharps or flats were in each key!
Within a few days, I remembered all the fingerings and note names. Figuring out sharps and flats in keys took much longer.
Second Roadblock – Unable to Read Music
Delighted to be invited by the music minister to their practices, I showed up. She passed out the music and I placed it on my stand.
Disappointment quickly showed up. During practice, I noticed I couldn’t read over half of the songs. The printed notes were either too small or too light.
It appeared Retinitis Pigmentosa was now affecting my acuity and not just my peripheral vision.
Afraid I wouldn’t be able to play long, if at all, I prayed. I couldn’t play by ear – Never could.
An idea formed. I could use black felt-tip markers to write since they provided the boldness and contrast I needed. I could write my own music.
Every Sat. night, I painstakingly took my marker and copied songs, note by note on bold music staff lines I had previously photocopied.
Third Roadblock – Can’t see Any Type of Music
Eventually, vision loss ended my copying career, and playing by ear was impossible.
A few years passed before I married and was at a different church. Since I couldn’t read the words when singing, I preferred worshipping with my flute. Not happening.
I missed playing. The desire to play kept increasing. I thought, Maybe God could teach me to play by ear if I prayed hard enough.
Before long, the dulcimer player heard about my interest. She invited me to play beside her at church. Afraid, I believed a piano, trumpet, drums, and two guitars would drown me out!
During these attempts, I prayed while concentrating, in hopes I could begin to hear individual notes. The pressure was off!
Amazingly, I matched my notes with the singer’s voice occasionally. Playing by ear had begun!
It picked up as time went on and I learned quite a few songs.
Fourth Roadblock – Different Music
About the time I was comfortable with half the songs, we left. God called my husband to pastor a nearby church. This small church had one pianist and sang hymns, which I hadn’t played by sight or ear, although sang when younger.
I felt like a fish out of water who wanted to swim but didn’t know how to make it back to the pond. I had to choose not to give up.
In my mind, God had made a way for me to miraculously play three times so far. He would equip me somehow if I was supposed to play my flute.
The urge to play became so strong that with prayer and their encouragement, I dove right in. I literally practiced live, attempting to match my husband’s voice.
Clumsily, I fumbled through the first few verses. By the last verse, I got most of the song right, only to forget again the next time. Six months later, my fingers automatically glided without much thought.
The small congregation of mostly Seniors appreciated it so much, I persevered.
Fifth Roadblock – Retirement
Choosing to take early retirement, our family decided to embark on a new journey and moved to try our hand at homesteading. Finding a church after pastoring so long isn’t an easy feat – especially while camping in Canaan and building infrastructure from the ground up.
Before retiring from pastoring, my arms ached quicker, and I ran out of breath easier when playing. I figured it would become a personal pleasure only.
During services, however, I missed it terribly. Praising God seemed incomplete.
Then we found a church that had prayed for live music for six years. We prayerfully considered if God could use us to meet this need.
Now my husband and I lead worship together and I get to praise God with my flute once again, even though I faced several of the same roadblocks. They didn’t last long and within a couple of months, I played with no tiredness, more air, and more heart than before retiring.
What have you persevered, and overcame? How hard was it for you?
The key to perseverance is to know it is God’s will and to rely on His strength instead of your own. I didn’t have to be talented or perfect, for God equipped me for the calling He had prepared for me.
When you give in instead of up, it will be music to your ears also.
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To go from surviving to thriving, use my contact form here and we’ll set up a time to beat this together! God’s strength be with you!
© 2025, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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