One would think my biggest battle of home schooling would be doing so with limited vision – vision that would continue to deteriorate from a progressive eye disease known as Retinitis Pigmentosa.
Not true.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, constantly changing vision definitely was a challenge from time to time. It utilized every ounce of creativity and problem-solving ability I had within.
I might not have even attempted such an undertaking if I hadn’t gotten my elementary special education degree and taught for several years.
It so happened I had the blessing of our town’s elementary principal also. He had been my school psych when I taught in central Kansas years prior.
Therefore, fear didn’t exist then.
I always liked a good challenge, but I definitely didn’t expect the battle I would discover later.
In the Beginning
With a four-drawer filing cabinet and a bookcase overflowing with curriculum from my teaching days sitting in my office, confidence arose.
Why, I had enough material to complete K-2, plus some for intermediate grades.
Kindergarten went pretty smooth and I was pleased with my organization. First grade was another story.
I desired a more comprehensive and integrated language arts curriculum. I bought one, then two, three, and by the end of first grade, I was the proud owner of four curriculums – whether I needed them or not.
It ended up that my daughter’s learning styles didn’t coincide with the first set, so I purchased another. I benefited from parts but had to try another to see if all my daughter’s needs could be met.
Didn’t happen. Money was handed over for curriculum number four. I used it, supplemented with my abundance, and made a lot of my own.
From then on, I had trouble finding a curriculum to satisfy me. Home school shows were great, I thought. I’d glance at some of the pages and my husband would describe and answer my questions since I didn’t have my special reading machine at my fingertips.
Once home, I’d dig in. I discovered their selling point was true in the exhibited material, but not necessarily so in the rest of the book(s) or features. Marketing sure can frustrate the consumer.
That didn’t wind up being my biggest challenge of home schooling either.
My Biggest Battle Emerges
Most of my time was spent learning the new material and trying to accomplish everything recommended. I attempted to follow it to a tee, trying to make my daughter do things their way.
Frustration developed. I wasn’t the cheerful home school mom I intended to be.
Attempting to figure out the cause of my frustration, I tapped my head as I thought (italics) Think, Jena, think.
The answer finally came. I realized I focused on doing lesson plans according to the way the curriculum was designed, rather than the way my child was designed.
(make that statement into a graphic and put here or down toward end if possible)
Bingo! That’s it! That was the source of my biggest challenge of home schooling.
When teaching special ed, I created a lot of my own stuff to meet objectives following a scope and sequence. I avoided books most of the time because fifth-graders would be embarrassed if they knew they were learning first-grade material.
Photocopies were my friend. This way, I could recreate skills on them so the kids wouldn’t recall doing these handouts the previous few years of their schooling.
Since my daughter was ADHD inattentive, she required one-on-one with me to complete most tasks. She could work independently, but assignments wouldn’t get done until midnight, due to her daydreaming.
My daughter also. . .
- Had dyslexia
- Suffered from anxiety
- Had Dysgraphia
I didn’t need to follow the curriculum exact. I needed to teach the way I did in public schools and ensure she learned the concepts outlined.
How I Coped
No matter the subject or the grade she was in, I fought this battle of trying to finish a curriculum over ensuring she was learning. The war continued to wage within.
Each time it raised Its ugly head, I reminded myself of the following:
- What my educational goals really were
- My belief of not covering the entire curriculum did not mean I was a bad teacher
- altering methods for my daughter didn’t mean she was dumb
- my true purpose is for her to love learning and to be self-sufficient when grown
- even teachers choose what chapters they want to teach and which ones to omit
- methods and materials are tools for me to use; not to be governed by
I gave myself permission to use the tools in a new or different way.
Needless to say, sometime during the school year, I’d find myself fighting this same battle over and over. I had to remember I had the power of choice. I could choose to slip back into my false beliefs or remind myself of the truth.
Each time I did this exercise, I found newborn creativity. My daughter not only learned more when I did this, but we bonded much closer. Confidence rose in both of us.
I am thankful even though I might have lost a few battles, I won the battle of not doing lesson plans according to the way the curriculum was designed, but rather to the way my child was designed.
I said goodbye to my false expectations and eventually, she said goodbye to anxiety and overcame her weaknesses as well.
Victory!
If you are fighting a battle repeatedly, know you need to focus on the truth and not the false beliefs you have hidden in the past. Victory can be yours too!
© 2023, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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