Powerful but Simple Strategies Boosting Confidence While Reducing Fear and Anxiety
Does anxiety or fear attack you when starting a new relationship, moving or going off to college, or job hunting?
If you said “no”, you might be in denial.
The unknown always makes us feel insecure due to a lack of confidence.
What if I told you there are some simple, but powerful strategies that can reduce our fears and anxieties by boosting our confidence? Strategies that not only can help yourself, but your children, other family members, and possibly co-workers?
Interested?
If you read on, you will learn:
- What self-confidence is
- Who it affects
- The remedy that contains small changes in our actions
And, you will find a bonus at the end.
No matter our age, no matter the circumstance, we all struggle with self-confidence from time to time. This makes it harder to recognize it in our children, spouse, or friends. This also means a lack of confidence breeds lack of confidence in those we love and are around.
I’ll be honest. I struggle with confidence, too. If it wasn’t for the confidence God gives, I’d be a bundle of nerves, and never try anything new.
What Exactly is Self-Confidence?
People have a tendency to place trust in their abilities, which comes from how capable they feel they are, their relationships, and how they are perceived by others. From this, they assign themselves value or worth, we call self-esteem or self-confidence.
It isn’t natural to trust yourself to do a great deal. We might enjoy what we feel we are decent at, but it isn’t until feedback comes that our confidence begins to soar.
Without confidence, fear and anxiety remains. Being unsure of our own abilities dominates.
Any change means trying something new. Our heart palpitates, hands sweat, and muscles tighten as our breathing slows.
This isn’t unique to age, sex, religion, or ethnicity. No one is exempt.
The remedy – Build confidence in others. I call it empowering others.
As you empower or boost others’ confidence, they will follow suit and yours will be boosted as well. You lead and they will follow.
If nothing else, you will gain confidence in your ability to build confidence in others. (Sorry – couldn’t resist)
As confidence replaces insecurity, fears and anxieties diminish. It’s a WIN-WIN!
Have you ever noticed when trying something new how afraid you are? But . . . if someone trains you or you do research, confidence grows, and fear dissipates. Knowledge makes a difference.
Why do some people have lower self-esteem than others?
Think about this. Some people grow up with grandparents who doddle over their grandkids, while others grow up in single parent homes or homes with parents who have addictions. Praise and positive reinforcement don’t exist.
Those more apt to suffer from lower self-confidence:
- Growing up with an absentee father
- Growing up with abusive or neglectful parents
- Being raised with parents who yell frequently
- Those bullied a lot
- Abusive spouses
- Move a lot
- Have attention disorders, learning disorders, or developmental delays
Remember this and you will increase patience with others. Identifying those who lack self-esteem can give you understanding, as well as alert you to an opportunity to build someone else’s confidence.
I mean, think about your kids for a moment. When starting school, have your children ever feared not being able to make friends, make good grades, or like the teacher?
Of course. Consider this as you read the simple confidence-building strategies below.
Ideally, gaining understanding as Christians of who we are in Christ builds our confidence in and through Him.
After all, as a Christian, we should have “Christ-esteem” over self-esteem. By that, I mean, our confidence should come from knowing I am who God says I am – not what others believe or think I am.
It’s not dependent on my own abilities, but I can do my part by implementing these simple, powerful strategies,
These simple strategies should improve your confidence, enable you to develop your child’s confidence, and show you how to foster confidence in others.
7 Simple Strategies for Boosting Confidence
1. Praise Efforts over Accomplishments
Verbal praise helps children and adults alike, to know that they have done something good, or correct. It encourages them to try again, thus empowering them. The problem is two-fold. We praise the wrong things, or make our statements too general.
– give praise for effort exhibited on tasks they are not normally good at
i.e. You’ve almost got it.
You got further than before.
– give specific praise
i.e. Instead of “You look nice.” Say, “Your necklace and shoes go so well with that outfit.”
Instead of, “Good job,” say, “You held the ball the correct way.”
Specific praise gives a reference point, making it easy to repeat. Works amazing with adults, too.
2. Praise in Public
Share accomplishments in natural conversations where the student, child, or employee can overhear, or read.
“You should have seen the way he/she concentrated when learning . . . I wish everyone could do that”
It’s one thing to be told personally, but to know your efforts were appreciated enough to share with others, really builds confidence.
3. Share Your Struggles and Solution
Tell part of your personal story to encourage and give HOPE. This shows the child or adult they are not alone, it can be done, and puts them at ease. I’ve used this with children, with our employees, and with volunteers and church members in the ministry.
Finish by explaining how you came up with a solution. Help them brainstorm for solutions themselves, which builds more confidence.
If drawing a blank, simply explain, “Everyone has a hard time with something in life. Some overcome by trying over and over.”
4. It’s the Journey; Not the Destination
Realize this and teach it. This principle transfers the focus from the results, like grades or promotions, to enjoying the process. For example, our son had an activity to follow directions by making cookies independently . . . without assistance. When his chocolate chip cookies resembled cow patties, we shared how this was exactly how new inventions and creations were made, replacing his feeling of failure with success.
5. Teach New Things
Working independently? Try allowing others to help so they can learn something new.
Ask assistance from children, employees, or volunteers. They can try something new with your guidance. In our feeding ministry, it was exciting to watch volunteers try new things . . . moments of discovery.
Stepping out of your COMFORT ZONE and accomplishing even a small part, builds confidence.
6. Reinforce Unconditional Love
Who doesn’t need to know they are loved, regardless of their mistakes or abilities?
Kids carry a lot of unseen stress, and may feel like they’re letting you down if they’re not successful in school. Feeling loved makes them believe no matter what, they are accepted and cared for by their family.
They need to hear you say the words, “I love you,” often, especially when putting forth extra effort trying to please you.
All of us have “big kids” hiding inside with that same stress, yearning to know someone still loves us no matter what.
God does! Isn’t that good news?
7. SUPPORT is Imperative
Having a group of peers to cheer your children on makes a world of difference, so be sure to find friends with similar abilities, or compassionate and understanding children.
Likewise, we must surround ourselves with friends who support and encourage us.
Say goodbye to insecurity completely by grabbing your BONUS, “10 Confidence-Building Bible Verses” to use as your foundation. Use the powerful strategies learned above with it and you will walk with your head held high!
***Everyone we are around has feelings and insecurities. Let God use you to build confidence in those you love. Better yet, let Him use you to show extra love to those you don’t like or know very well.
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© 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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