With new school supplies in hand, donated by a local church, an 8-year old boy and his 6-year-old brother trotted off to school. They were careful to avoid stepping in mud puddles to protect the nice clothes their grandparents had bought them.
Not long into the school year, heavy eyelids caught up with them and grades began to fall. It was hard to sleep with their mom working nights. They never knew who would be watching them, and didn’t feel safe.
Before long, going to sleep was even harder. Mom quit her job, got a new boyfriend, and he yelled at her all night long. That didn’t last long. She got another, and then another. This man beat both boys too. Soon the brothers began pulling each other’s hair, kicking, hitting, and spitting on each other. Believing it to be normal since that is what they were seeing and experiencing, by the men in their young lives.
Spending time alone as pre-teens, they listened to music speaking how to treat women…you know, with your fists. One boy preferred video games where he could steal cars. Popping pills, smoking, and gangs soon followed. Several girls who trusted them lost their innocence. Graduation never came-neither did any awards or jobs.
Scenarios like this are growing by leaps and bounds. Many wind up on SSI. And, the cycle continues.
America has many males, but few real men.
Let’s take a look as to why. I gathered the following statistics from, Brett Ullman, The Men Talk.
Did you know 85% – 95% of ALL crimes are committed by men?
Yep. That includes rape, burglary, drunk driving, road rage, murder, domestic violence, and child abuse. Did you also know 70% of ALL suicides are men?
What does that have to do with you? With us?
Well, let me tell you ways it impacts our families…our community…our world.
- According to the FBI, 2 million men beat their wives each year.
- 1 out of 3 wives girlfriends or daughters were physically or sexually abused by the age of 18.
- 50%-75% of men abusing their wives will also abuse children.
- It’s sad but true. The primary risk factor for crimes is gender.
- 70% of all men in prison came from fatherless homes. I’ll let this sink in for a minute. Men play a vital role.
Absentee Fathers Statistics
- 24 million children live apart from their biological fathers.
- 40% of children living in absentee-father homes haven’t seen their father in a year.
Here are the effects. These children will be…
- 5 times more likely to be poor,
- 10 times more likely to be extremely poor,
- 2 times more likely to drop out of high school,
- 3 times more likely for a girl to become pregnant out-of-wedlock,
- have a higher suicide rate, and increases children choosing to run away.
Do you see how this cycle is repeatable? Continuously requiring more prisons, court services, food stamps, extra educational and counseling services, and subsidized housing.
The problem doesn’t stop there. Read these statistics on marriage.
Did you know 25% of first marriages are successful? 40% end up in divorce. This means, of the 60% staying married, 35% aren’t happy. Many women were actually lonelier during marriage than when divorced and84% of wives don’t feel they have true intimacy with their spouses.
This made more sense when I learned of this man’s poll questioning.
Which of the following was considered cheating on a wife or girlfriend?
Sleeping with someone else, making out, cyber relationships, strip clubs, flirting, and pornography.
The results were absolutely SHOCKING! 95% of men felt sleeping with another woman was considered cheating. From there, the numbers declined slowly, then picked up speed. Only 45% of men believed cyber relationships was cheating. Only 12% of men thought flirting was wrong, and a walloping 2% thought pornography was considered cheating.
I wonder how many Christians were included in that poll.
With these culturally declining values, is it any wonder why marriages aren’t successful?
I believe the root of family deterioration starts with the man. But, how did our boys grow up with such values? Well, when men are absent, behavior and beliefs are learned from social media. Think about how violence is portrayed as masculinity in music, television, and entertainment. The content of shows, songs, and video games encourage infidelity, abuse being acceptable, and few good role models of men as husbands and fathers exist. Their role models beat up girlfriends, take steroids, or get famous by the number of affairs they have. Where are the real men? We need male mentors.
Don’t forget, absentee fathers aren’t confined to men out of the home. Many fathers are glued to the web when they come home and aren’t engaged with their children.
It’s time we empower men to become better husbands and fathers. They need our help and prayers. We can’t wait for someone else. Raise awareness. Discuss solutions. Pay closer attention to how we’re raising our sons. Don’t let social media raise them. And, when you see a boy without a father, mentor them!
Together, we can change our world.
Join me in praying for all men – husbands, sons, brothers, and neighbors over the next few days. Pray for God to build Godlycharacter in them, for them not to be swayed by the ways of the world, to become more like Christ, and to love their families more every day. Give good men opportunities tomentor other men ofall ages.
Please let me know you’ve joined by typing the word “Praying” or “Yes” in the comments below. We need each other and we need more Christian men!
Thanks for stopping in and for sharing this with others. I appreciate Y-O-U!
© 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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