For fun this year for Mother’s Day, I thought I’d ask my grown children what it was like to have a visually impaired and blind mother. Bracing myself, I allowed them to speak what came to their mind . . . you know, impromptu, rather than a formal interview.
Steven and Jennifer were 12 and 14 when I married their dad. As a new step-parent, I was considered low vision. Two years later, I gave birth to their little sister, Leslie. From that point forward, my eyesight deteriorated at a rapid pace from Retinitis Pigmentosa.
Have FUN reading these comments – no psychoanalyzing allowed! This is meant for reading pleasure only. Just kidding, of course.
Comments from Steven, our oldest:
I just wanted my dad to be happy, and not alone anymore so I didn’t really care how much you saw. I don’t really think about people being handicapped. I do remember dad telling me to put knifes point down cause I put the handle-side down. He didn’t want you to poke yourself when you put away the dishes. I also had to start remembering to put the toilet seat down after you fell in. Of course, one time I played a trick on you by putting those popper things under the seat to scare you. You got mad, but then laughed . . . I really didn’t think of you as blind or handicapped so can’t remember lots. There weren’t many adjustments. We just wanted to keep the floor and walkway clean so you wouldn’t hurt yourself. I did learn from you how to pay attention to the way people walked and stuff to recognize them. You could identify people by their walk and specific sounds and now I pay attention to that too. I don’t think others should let a handicap keep them from living.
Comments from Jennifer:
Living with a visually impaired mom stirred up new emotions. When you did stupid stuff, I mean, like trip over things, or run into poles, I felt bad. But then, you and dad turned them into jokes, and it helped a lot. I think it helps other people too. They’re scared and don’t know what to do or say. All of us telling these funny blind stories makes them more comfortable. You know, like we’ve accepted it and it’s no big thing. I do think because you paid attention more to smells and sounds than others, we got away with less than kids with sighted parents. It’s not that other parents aren’t observant, it’s just you took it a step further.
As an adult, some special occasions were hard to share with you. When Austin was born, it was hard cause I knew you wanted to see him, but you couldn’t. I felt like I needed to hold back my excitement because you couldn’t participate in it. Sometimes I felt guilty for seeing since you couldn’t. It was fun for me when I was younger and we adapted board and card games for us to play together. That actually made me feel better because you could do it. I didn’t want you to be left out, so including you made me feel better.
One thing I learned from you is no matter what happens to you, don’t quit. Even though you’re blind, you went ahead and got a degree, and used it. You didn’t quit.
Comments from Leslie:
People automatically felt sorry for me when they met me, but I felt normal. When people showed you stuff, I’d remember you couldn’t see, and would describe it to you. You get to learn to be descriptive when you have a blind mom. The other thing was it kind of stunk because I couldn’t sneak up on you to tease you because of your good hearing.
You did good matching my clothes when I was little. I had to teach myself later by observing others’ fashions. Same with my hair – all you could do was pony tails and braids. I missed you not being able to teach me how to wear my make-up and do fun designs with eye liner. You were able to teach me how to cook, though, and I wouldn’t have thought you could’ve. Sometimes I wish you could’ve seen other than by feel and your imagination, like at my wedding or when Braden was born.
I think you get around better than most blind people do, and you don’t get depressed. Most people who would lose their sight as they got older would get depressed.
Thanks for dropping in for some cheap entertainment today.
Did you learn anything interesting? What surprised you the most? What do you think would be the hardest if your mom had visual problems? Please let me know in the comments below.
Have a GREAT, WONDERFUL, and BLESSED MOTHER’S DAY!
© 2022, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
James Warden says
This was refreshing the love of God in me. God bless you Jena, James Warden of James and Brian in Emporia.
Jena says
Oh, James of James and Brian in Emporia! LOL. It is refreshing to hear from you. I have wanted to get in touch forever. Can you PM me?
Julie says
Thanks, Jena, very special and I know you’ve been a really good mom to all the kids! Bless you for courage to share these heart thoughts 🙂
Robin Dixon says
Jena!
What I glean from all three of your children is that living with a mother who is blind has helped them to have compassionate hearts and to be conscientious of others. Also, it has instilled a determination that they can do it if you did it, what ever that may be.
Jena, YOU are a mother of excellence!
Robin