My fingers quit flying across my keyboard. I pressed a button on my talking watch. It rewarded me by announcing the time.
I failed again. I missed the deadline. No manuscript submission for me.
Face grimmest, I muttered aloud, “I never finish on time! I don’t know why I try to be an author – when I keep failing.”
Lots of things make me feel like I’ve failed – often.
Can you relate?
As humans, it seems easier to fail than to succeed. It’s not surprising.
Have you?
- Burnt supper when expecting guests
- Forgot a necessary item at the grocery store
- Run out of gas on way to work
- Forgot part of your sermon when preaching
- Missed an important event
- Couldn’t comfort a loved one to your satisfaction
- Wasn’t hired after giving your best interview
- Needed medication for anxiety or depression
- Weren’t able to witness to a loved one before they passed away
- Your teenager gets in trouble hanging out with the wrong crowd
Did you believe you failed or were you able to shrug it off?
Feeling like we fail is normal. Dwelling on it long isn’t.
Believing it when it is a lie is downright unhealthy – its destructive.
These feelings of failure like to dump us into anxiety, or worse, depression that can last from minutes to years. Defeating them will defeat bad moods, depression, and developing insecurities.
Defeat Feelings of Failure
How do you handle it when feelings of failure smother you like gravy over a biscuit?
American biscuits from scratch covered with thick white sausage gravy. Selective focus with cast iron skillet / pan in the background over a white table.
Do you hang on, stew over them until they boil, or tell them to vacate the premises?
Think about this. These feelings originate from our minds and from fear. This means we can change our focus to better thoughts. Focusing on healthier thoughts defeats feelings of failure almost immediately.
Yay! Hope is around the corner.
My Writing Failures
When my writing journey began in 2011, I felt like a failure as a writer and author almost every day, even though I had just discovered an affordable screen reader.
A progressive eye disease had prevented me from using a computer for fifteen years. Eagerness to write a book re-emerged. A publisher at a writing conference personally invited me to send in a nonfiction book proposal.
I researched and read on writing proposals, but before half done, the publishing company went belly up. I failed at my first, and probably only opportunity to publish a book.
More Obstacles Followed:
- My computer-savvy friend, who planned on creating me a web site, fell through
- Two years passed before website was created
- Unable to post my own blog posts, create graphics, or operate social media, virtual assistants had to be hired
- Virtual assistants dropped like flies – about every three or four months for almost seven years
- Couldn’t grow my readership above 200 for five years
- After finding a writing coach, financial problems postponed hiring her
- I never met writing deadlines set by writing coach
- After self-publishing books, I didn’t sell enough to order a pizza, let alone break even.
- No product sales since creating my shop.
Failure after failure, so how did I persevere?
How did I defeat those feelings of failure instead of falling into the pit of despair?
Three Defeating Thoughts
1. Expectations
Our expectations are often too high. My writing ones sure were unrealistic for someone who is blind. Lower them by breaking down into bite-size pieces, providing frequent levels of success.
Consider having no expectation but live in the present moment God has given you for pleasure only.
Others’ expectations.
Sometimes we perceive others are expecting certain results from us that don’t exist. Trying anyway, and falling short, we fail in our minds.
When this happens, communicate, and clarify, in order to learn the other person’s real expectations instead of our perceived ones. After all, it might have been a suggestion or our imagination.
If we know we’re not able to meet someone else’s expectations, change theirs. We might have to educate and enlighten a boss or co-worker that certain tasks require additional time, assistance, additional resources, or training for us to be successful. Advocate for yourself. A little nervousness is better than prolonged anxiety.
2. Accept What You Cannot Control
The Serenity Prayer reminds us to accept the things we cannot change.
Sometimes failure is a result of circumstances outside our control. Someone might be sick, not show up, equipment might break, or a tragedy might strike, like getting vomited all over by your dog as you were going out the door.
In these cases, don’t blame yourself. Pick up your chin and get back in the saddle as soon as possible. Or change clothes before leaving and risk being late over stinking.
3. View Failures as Learning Blocks
Successful people emphasize, “You haven’t failed, if you learn from your mistakes.”
We can learn from it or use it as practice. Reflect.
Ask yourself why this might have happened, then brainstorm for ways to do it differently.
You just changed your focus from failure to possible solutions.
Possible Solutions:
- prepare sooner
- write it down
- allow more time
- ask for help
- sleep more
- communicate better
- Trust God more
The worst-case scenario is you failed at one task. Will you even remember it in a year? Five years?
The best scenario is when you learn to trust God more than your own abilities.
For me, my writing journey continues to set new goals. Money is necessary to publish a book series on miracles that have been stored in my files for four years now. Hiring editors, cover design, and marketing costs, and remains a matter of prayer.
Does not publishing them yet mean I failed?
I hope not!
The stories actually ministered to me during some of the hardest storms or battles of our life. God’s timing is perfect.
Maybe God didn’t want them published yet because I needed a larger audience. Maybe it was to allow my writing skills to improve for better sales. He might want me to go to work to pay for this ministry.
God has a plan and purpose for me and for you. Our job is to trust Him! Never give up!
If we are following Him in every step of our lives, we aren’t failing. Let Him remind you of these three thoughts so you can defeat feelings of failure every time Satan tries to convince you otherwise.
Grow your faith with my latest release, “Illogical Faith in a Logical World” here.
Thank you for believing in me, supporting me, and sharing my post with your friends.
© 2025, Jena Fellers. All rights reserved.
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